I Camouflage

Tonight my sister-in-law mentioned, on a family forum, a craft she was planning on doing in Primary with the kids for Mother's Day.  She wanted to know if we thought it was a good craft idea.  Two of my sisters responded with their enthusiasm for the craft.  But when I first read about the craft, my thought was, "How many of those does a mom need?"  and "If my child gave me that I'd feel obligated to use it and display it, but secretly I'd want to get rid of it." 

This kind of thing happens all the time on our family forum, and I usually just don't comment.  In fact, when we are planning a get together, I just keep my mouth shut, because almost always what I suggest is ignored or shot down.  Where we are going to eat - we always go to where R. or E. want to go, unless S. has done "chow-hound" research and then we go where she tells us to.  Where we are going site seeing - it's usually E. or R. who decide.  What is on the evening agenda - usually R. or E.  Who is staying in which rooms on which floors - usually my mom, based on E's preferences.  What we should give as a group gift - usually R decides this.  Anyway, they are fabulous sisters and have great taste and I enjoy myself with them most of the time, but I've learned to keep my opinions to myself.  Anyway, with this craft thing, I thought about this blog, and being honest, so I kindly told them that I probably wouldn't be too excited about getting that craft, and I offered two alternative ideas.  Now whether M decides to do the original or something else is absolutely no skin off my back.  It won't phase me in the least.  I don't live there, I won't be receiving one, I don't have to help with the project, I have no vested pride in the ideas I submitted as they aren't my own, but rather something I've received before, but still it felt risky to be the dissenting opinion.  I worried I would offend M, or that S or E might think I was being rude.  But afterwards, I felt a little bit proud that I was honest about how I felt.  I am anxious though, to see if there are any responses to my choice to go against the grain, because in our family, I don't contrast, I camouflage. 

I'll see how I feel tomorrow if there are any responses.  Wierd that I feel nervous about that.  It makes me feel like there is something wrong with my self-esteem.  But it also makes me feel like that means I need to do this more often, be honest about how I feel about things.